Kicking Disappointment to the Curb

Disappointment is an every day occurrence in this world and at some point in time each of us will face scenarios seemingly flying out of nowhere with the main goal to target our plans and our happiness often sending us in a tail spin and diminishing us to a mere emotional wreck.I have had my fare share of disappointing moments and I dont recall many events in the past where I reacted "appropriately" and yes contrary to popular belief there is a better way to handle disappointment much like there is for most things. I usually would respond to these events ; in anger , with excessive crying or by blatant outright avoidance , none of these responses made the situations easier to deal with, they instead elevated the tension levels and added unpleasant aspects to the situations that led to even more problems.If you are someone who does not like things to pop up out of the blue you might have had similar responses to mine and for those who did not have the same experience yet you are aware of others, today we all acknowledge our toxicity and aim to respond to the unexpected in a more healthy less destructive manner by considering these suggestions on how to manage disappointment.

1. There are some things you just cant control

I know you have probably heard about a million times that the only thing you can control is yourself and your own actions however it is indeed the truth , do see for yourself this fact?until you come to the full realization of this you will forever end up being disappointed because you will constantly be trying to control the outcome of things that are beyond your control. To want to control everything is a habit many of us have but habits can be broken with conscious efforts. Sometimes I myself need a reminder so when I find myself in a position obsessing over things I cant control I repeat a part of the serenity prayer I learnt in a counselling course "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change ,courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference ,living one day at a time ,enjoying one moment at a time",this brings me back to focus on the reality of , everything is not in my control.

2.Listen!! and Listen some more

95.5 % of the times our disappointment involves a next individual and the truth most of tend to not be able to admit is that the individual told us that they could not live up to our expectation but we did not hear ,listen and then understand because that is not something that is widely practiced , people today hear to respond they dont generally listen to a word coming from a next individuals mouth. To avoid disappointment rather than to project what we want a next individual to do its best to listen to understand exactly what they are saying in regards to any situation ,regardless of the trajectory of their words or what we would prefer. 3.Learn to do Self introspection, “where are you , where do you need to be , how can you get there?”

we all have the capacity to move beyond our position in life and out of a certain state of mind with God at the center the possibilities are even more endless however to do the work that needs to be done one has to know themselves. Oftentimes because we fail to acknowledge our weaknesses we set up ourselves for disappointment and failure by reaching for things that we re not ready for. Without a clear understanding of the work it takes to get there in relation to where you are currently and what We need to put in to get said thing we create messes that we end up becoming overwhelmed by . Maybe there is a habit you have that is holding you back from reaching a certain level , you won’t know for a fact if that is so if you do no introspection , hence disappointment will continue .

4.Pace Yourself

We have succumbed to the habit of rushing everything we do as a society. We end up doing everything based upon an invisible timeline but at some point we have to press mute and pause to collect ourselves. When we set a goal we wish to reach we tend to rush through not appreciating the process and when the end result is less than what we imagined it to be disappointment sets in. Take your time and appreciate each stage that comes with taking a new direction in life .skip no steps life is not a race , there really is no timeline by which any person needs to do certain things ,there surely is not a specific order to doing said things.

5.Understand who is truly in Control

We go through life confident in our own power and capabilities believing that we are fully in control when that power belongs solely in the hands of no mere human. The choice to rely on our own strength is the breathing ground for endless disappointment. Until you yourself fully understand and see for yourself that God is whom you should rely on rather than self and the promises of man the cycle of disappointment will continue, The moment the frailty of our human capabilities are made known to us is the moment the chance of disappointment decreases.

Everyone faces disappointment and everyone has a hard time coping some way or another what is important in these instances is the steps we take to combat the negative feelings and how we go forth in response to the unexpected as the only thing we can control is how we react to things beyond our control.