Lessons at 27.

I have been in this life for 27 years and ten years ago if you asked me what I would be doing by age 27 I would have a long list of things I planned to do . That being said I have learnt that plans don’t always go as you may want them to play out or flow , even so there are lessons that can be learnt from every minute we spend along the paths we are meant to take on our own journeys . I in no way believe that I am a expert at life because I am still figuring out myself and trying my best to shape me into the woman I aim to be, nevertheless here are few things that I have picked up along my journey that every young person should know or be reminded of.

1. Do You In Your Own Time

I have had these discussions with my friends a lot and it seems that as young people we constantly face the pressure from not only society but our families and friends to do certain things in life by a certain time. I cannot count on one hand how many times I’ve been asked when I am going to get married or when I am going to finish school. These questions persisted so much so that I started to place unnecessary pressure on myself and became unhappy if my life was not going by the standards quote and quite set by society. Well I have learnt to not care much For how individuals think my timeline should progress anymore because it is my “life” and therefore anything I set out to do should be at a pace at which I am comfortable. The same goes for my peers and anyone else reading , never be pushed to do things a certain way and in a certain time because society says because at the end of the day society is not living your life you are.

2. (Sometimes) Personal growth = Smaller Circle.

I have seen this countless times , sometimes individuals in our social groups might find it difficult to adjust to the changes we try to make in our lives. The adjustment problem is even more so if the changes are positive and might come with the fact that certain juvenile things you no longer find funny or that you have found more worthwhile things that you are overly passionate about. It is best to understand while you should never use individuals as a stepping stool to get to the destination of growth and progress you desire , that some individuals will never accept that you are heading and growing in a positive light as such they might pull away. This fact brings to light that not every one can travel the path of growth with you but welcome those who are willing to also travel alongside you as they grow themselves.

3.Work, move build In Silence

We all may have had moments where we have decided to embark on a new journey whether a new job , a new business venture etc; and we want to share with the world because it is always exciting to do something new . We post every step on social media or tell every person we come across of how well things are going , sad to say it may be best to refrain from doing so. Not everyone needs to know your business for one , in an era with technological advancements and social media your ”business“ is never really yours because now the world believes they can voice their opinion on everything ; “whether or not your office should be painted a certain color”. We often stop our own blessings by speaking on things too much and too quickly . While you may be the type of individual who is glad to see others progress ; sadly not every person has that same character trait.I do not mean to scare you into thinking that when good things happen in your life you shouldn’t essentially be a witness of how God worked things out for you, but use your discernment essentially “ read the room “.When you are doing something of value also you also never have to remind anyone because naturally the work will be evidence enough.

4.Love is not like the fairy tales

I am most definitely not an expert in this area , but is anyone really? . The Bible speaks that love is patient , love is kind , love does not delight in wrong doing , does not envy neither does it boast all these things are the core of what Love in its purest form should be , but to get to a place like that takes work. The individuals we follow and say they are “couple goals” based on photographs on social media do not show you “behind the scenes”, you do not see the bumps in the road that takes time to be fixed or the problems and the wounds they cause that need healing. In all honesty no human being should be your “couple goals”. Love is not as simple as “looking good together” it takes time to grow and it takes effort and two persons who are ready and able to put equal amounts of that effort. Yes it is said your twenties or your youth is when you should have fun but the feelings and hopes of individuals are not things one should ever joke about or play with. If you believe you are not ready to invest the time it takes to “grow love”, or you are not mature enough to be completely selfless wait!! do not rush , never awaken a persons love if you have no intention of cherishing it.

5.Be patient with yourself

Many of us strive for this idealistic version of perfection so much so that when we mess up or fail to achieve a certain goal we speak negatively about our selves. I get that some of these behaviors are learnt and that is a discussion for another time , but let us aim rather to acknowledge every progress we make rather than to continue a cycle of chastisement that seems to have become the norm. Victory is seen often in how we react to certain situations so imagine the difference it would have on our over all outlook and general behavior if we were just a bit kinder to ourselves. The failure can be reversed because you can try and try again but the emotional turmoil that can develop as a result of negative self talk and pressure takes years and years to work through. These lessons learnt might not be the keys to a kingdom but in my experience having certain lessons that were learnt by my older peers , parents along with other family members passed down to me has helped me to navigate countless situations. So as I pass these lessons onto you I hope it confirms some suspicions you might have had yourself and maybe if you havent really given much thought to these things at least you now have some incite should situations where these lessons are needed arise in your life.