Safest Ground to Stand on.

I’ve been caught up on what exactly it means to be ”truly honest “ lately, I do not know if it is because I have had some experiences over the past year that resonates with me or what exactly but it’s something that has surely been resting on my mind .

There is a saying that goes “The truth is the safest ground to stand upon”and we as human beings mostly say we try not to lie but how truthful can anyone be when the image we project to the world and sometimes to those closest to us is one which only shows that which we want them to see.How do we claim to be honest when we hide the thoughts we have behind fancy words?or behind what we think people want to hear .Can we say we are honest when the lives we live are the result of a carefully calculated fallacy.

To add insult to injury in our practice of half truths or “telling stories” as some people like to say ,we never stop to think of all the possible effects of neglecting to be truly honest especially with our loved ones and loved ones is not subject to one group it also includes not only family and significant others but also our friends.

I have seen many instances and been in quite a few situations myself where things Are left unsaid or brushed under the rug in hope of avoiding conflict.Yet these unsaid things ,wether regarding feelings or true intent almost always manifest in some other ways which usually are negative. The manifestations then lead to ; resentment , feelings of betrayal and overall lost of trust and even more severe the irreparable damage to certain relationships.

Ive heard it said many times that “ I wasn’t honest from the get go because I never wanted to cause hurt , let you down, disappoint and a host of other reasons yet ironic enough the lack of honesty usually leads to the things it was invoked to prevent .In light of that fact the question to be asked is “ does our lack of honesty ever benefit the person who we are keeping things from or claim to be trying to protect or are they means to protect our own egos”. You see the truth is rarely pretty,especially when it pertains to serious issues ,and that fact alone makes us scared for people to see because it usually opens the eyes to what is real , but isn’t it better to let a person see the “real “ and make their own decisions about what they think and feel about it rather than to take the choice away from them by lying?.

So many Scenarios to choose from here but I will try to paint the best picture I can , imagine you have been friends with someone for years yet you don’t like the way in which the friend speak to you , it makes you angry but you say nothing about the fact.Every time since you discovered your dislike for the manner in which your friend speaks and your friend opens his or her mouth with anything directed at you , you begin to feel extremely angry. You say nothing about how you feel so the anger grows until one day you have an argument and that particular friend says something to oppose your idea and “BANG”! the stewing anger explodes.Your friend had no idea why you blew up and said nasty things to him or her and usually being real, when egos are involved and our human nature kicks in resolution in a sensible manner flys out the window and there is most times only one result and that is ...the friendship ends. Because you never gave your friend the chance to consider or correct something you had an issue with you essentially contribute to the failure of the friendship. I know it sounds very made up but it is the reality that sometimes we contribute to the downfall of certain things because we fail to exercise honesty opting instead to adapt the “ see something say nothing “ mentality.

The perfect example is found in the lines of one of my favorite songs by Israel Haugton which says “we lie to our lovers , we lie to our friends, painting a picture playing pretend , we keep our secrets all to ourselves stand at a distance so no one can tell.Nobody knows us and nobody will”, the secrets we keep under the cover of the pretense of honesty not only prevents others from truly knowing us but prevents us from truly knowing ourselves because you see,if you speak a lie enough you eventually start to believe the particular lie yourself and begin to live it stripping away your authencity .It is not good enough to go around projecting a false version of yourself because believe it or not and some might say “I did not ask to be anyone’s role model“ , you are a walking example to the people around you wether you want to be or not sometimes it is just what happens . Ask yourself would you rather that those who look up to you see the version of you that is #lifegoals ,#couplegoals #lovinglife or the real you the version of you that strives to be wholly authentic. Would you rather your loved ones see the version of you that is okay with everything , stands for nothing, won’t be honest with them or the version of you that practices complete honesty in every aspect of your life? A fact they can rely on and trust.

The truth is the only sure ground to stand upon but to Live in truth is a choice only you can make.