Words- They do hurt
- A.Bryan
- Mar 29, 2020
- 4 min read
Far from the girl who thought that I once had no voice , I’m not known now to mince words. I have since gotten so used to expressing myself freely and being open about what I think and feel,because the individuals who I hold close to my heart have created the environment where I feel welcomed to do so. Sometimes because of this level of comfort I forget that “words” and perception of said words often leave unintended marks and intentional ones too .Because of this lapse in judgement I sometimes essentially leave myself to become like “running waters” as someone close to me likes to say ,content to “labrish“away.
Today I have come to acknowledge that sometimes comfort and security makes us become complacent. Complacent to a point where if we were placed in a situation in which we would have been considerate before ,we no longer are because we have gotten too comfortable leading to us hurting those around us.
Let me paint a picture for you, I’ve been friends with the same group of young ladies since first form (for those who aren’t familiar that’s the 7th grade in other parts of the world), one of the ladies I have been friends with since the grade three (3rd grade),that’s more than 10 years of friendship (wow!) every Friday night we essentially hold “court” as I like to call it, and anyone who is available at the time is free to join the video chat. I think this practice stemmed from the fact that in high school we saw each other everyday at lunch for 7 seven years and now we all live in different places so we work to keep the connection alive. In these weekly conversations we talk about any and everything under the sun sometimes we fuss but we always talk it out or we get upset and stop talking but we always make up later. Since we are all strong personalities with strong opinions we butt heads and that’s nothing new but this particular night It seemed that I was on a roll. I am one of the more dramatic friends so there tends to be a flare added to everything I say but this time I said something that really rubbed one of my friends the wrong way.I never thought I did anything wrong because in my mind it was just words and my words had no ill intent. I pause here to say we have to understand some words have negative connotations and these negative meanings hold truth for many people so what may be just words to you are death to a next person even if your intent was not to harm. In situations like this it is best to acknowledge that you did hurt the person And apologize accepting how they felt.
See I am stubborn and I argue to prove my point and sometimes petty patty comes out (story for another time) so I held on to my point for a bit but I had to stop myself and say ” no no no , Ms. they aren’t just words you can’t really brush it off like that“. At that point I had to consider if my point that I incessantly tried to prove was more important than seeing my friends point of view and acknowledging her feelings. We are okay now praise be, but the phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” is not a sound notion.
Words do hurt , even though some seem so simple. Before you argue,think of all the times someone said something that cut you real deep , do you still remember the feelings you felt when those words were said? , do those feelings evoke more negative feelings in you today?.If yes, yup that’s the “hurt” talking.
I am not always consistent but I try and I am a work in progress like everyone else ,even more since that incident I am aiming to be more conscious of the words I utter when I am speaking. I have decided it is best to not remove myself emotionally from a situation but to try my best to see from a persons point of view when they say “your Words hurt” or “you hurt my feelings”. We all have similar stories where like myself you might have been told things like; “you will never amount to anything of value “ or “ is better you sell bag juice down town “( as if to say people who did this weren’t seeking a honest means to make a living ) , or “ your parents really waste their money” and a host of other awful demeaning things meant to put you down. We all know we carry the words and they stick with us , we might have forgiven the things said and left the feelings in the past but these words are the driving force for many of us or the shackles we still wear.
so the next time you think to just blurt “a word “ with intent to harm remember ,that time a word hurt you and strive to be more conscientious because “sticks and stones may break your bones but words stain the soul”.
Beautifully written